1.23.2011

no more excuses

i'm finding myself being reminded of reasons why i cant....and then i realize there is something shouting repeatedly at me: "WHY NOT?" "WHY CANT YOU?" i cant keep making excuses...i cant keep beating down on myself...i cant forget that it is one day at a time - regardless of the process that i am trying to get through - i cant get to tomorrow until i succeed today & if today is not as much of a progress as planned i have to remember that there is always tomorrow to make a change...

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.” ~ Bob Moawad



1.19.2011

more to love

the beginning:

simply said i am here on my journey to find myself....to create myself....
even more simply this journey of exploration was ignited by a small phrase "more to love": he stared into my eyes & told me that there was more of me to love & he was concerned for my health & he wanted there to be "less" of me...this is more than about weight....at least that's what i hope (for now) what's the point if i cant even be honest in anonymity??? I'm scared this will be another failed attempt - i have been down this road before...

so now i must do this for me...i am here...i am not sure why but i am...there are so many things i need to say...i don't think i really care if anyone hears but they still need to be said...my personal therapy so to speak....i had planned to have this big introduction welcoming "you all" into my world...but i am still trying to figure out who i am before i can tell you...so where do i start...sigh...

so...i guess...tell me as i think...close your eyes as i cry...smile with me as i laugh...read with me as i write...hold my hand as walk down this road...

"It takes courage to push yourself to places that you have never been before, to test your limits, to break through barriers. And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~ Anais Nin